Add to this statement that 80% of our success is due to our communication skills and we see that if we want people to respond well, and by people I mean our children, personal and work relationships, and indeed any other person we have contact with in our lives – then we do need to pay attention to how we communicate! I have witnessed so many poor relationships between parents and children, each party putting the blame on the other! In fact it is generally ALL the parents fault! If you think about it logically, it has to be doesn’t it, as the parents are the responsible adults, the children are the product of the parental conditioning – this is of course done usually unconsciously or unknowingly by the adult to the child from birth upwards.

Some of the common mistakes are:
Parents NOT allowing children to answer questions put to them from another person – the parent answers on the child’s behalf!!!!
Parents talking about their child in front of them –mostly negative statements!
Parents not listening when they are ‘too busy’,
Parents answering with statements such as “Don’t be silly”.
Admonishing and accusing publicly!
Always noticing and remarking on the negative points and forgetting to praise as often!

In fact some people have some other very serious bad habits that have an impact on the receiver – often this impact is unnoticed by the speaker!
For instance what about the person who hears just one side of a story and launches straight into the attack of some un-suspecting victim? Have you ever had this happen to you? Then perhaps you know the feelings that can come out of this poor communication skill! This is a very common problem between parents and children and husbands and wives!!!! One party has made a judgement based on their own views and assumptions, they build up into an emotional state and suddenly just let rip – often when the other is least expecting it!! – is this you maybe?
Have you ever had a conversation where a speaker is so loud you have to take a step back?
How do you respond to someone who ‘hogs’ all the talk time, who never takes a turn in listening?

A simple guide to help make improvements in communication is:
Parents to encourage their children to answer the questions put to them.
Parents should respect their children and take the utmost care to criticise privately and praise openly (but not in front of other siblings)
Listen to what children have to say – this is THEIR view of the world and if you want to understand and to help them then you should accept this view – even though you may not agree with it!
Watch out for all the good things your children do and praise them for it – praise can never be enough because it builds self-esteem and confidence.
Be aware of your emotions when you are communicating!! Anger is a negative force and will bring extremely negative results. You may prefer to wait for anger to subside before making challenges!
NEVER make challenges built on gossip, hearsay, or assumptions!!! Instead, ask questions to clarify your thoughts – you may find there is no challenge to make.
ASK someone trustworthy to tell you how your communication skills score and let’s hope they are brave enough to tell the truth!